.[ exercises in ________ ].

Adjoa ≥ {sex educator, SRHR activist, nerdbomber, researcher, feminist, counselor, busybody, altruist, observer, dreamer, consumer, geek, scrabble fiend}

You can learn more about me and connect with me in other spaces (here). I rage and share things & thoughts (here). I like a lot of stuff (here). You can ask me questions about life, sexual and reproductive health, activism, geekery, and more (here).

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latinosexuality:

jhameia:

ryanvoid:

invisiblebee:

deliciouskaek:

feministsoccupyhalloween:

girlsgetbusyzine:

“Shit Men Say to Men Who Say Shit to Women on the Street” was inspired by International Anti-Street Harassment Week.

It was created by a group of women and men in NYC who believe that street harassment is wrong, and that we all have a role to play in ending it - especially us guys.

The video shows some non-violent ways that men can interrupt street harassment as it happens. (And it happens all the time. Seriously. Go check. We will wait.)

Join us by sharing this video. And the next time you witness street harassment - and you will - say some shit. Please.

For more information on this video, email: pleasestopnyc@gmail.com

I love these guys.

I wish this were commonplace. :<

“REALLY MAN?!” *throws hat*

I think my favorite was the porch full of dudes, going “ARRRGGHHH” in unison.

The porch bit (0:46) and daffodil dude (0:41) are ace. I also liked:

“You’re giving Dominican men a bad name.” (1:22)
“You’re giving the Bronx a bad name!” (1:23)
“C’mon son, you’re giving Queens a bad name” (1:24)
“You’re really giving white guys a bad name.” (1:27)
“You’re also giving black guys a bad name.” (1:30)
“You’re giving us ALL a pretty bad name.” (1:32)

And (0:22) “Sweetheart, please stop perpetuating the patriarchal (??), it is SO over.” 

using in class

This. <3. Shout-out to some of NYC’s awesome male advocates fighting against sexual harassment/violence!

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Women Making Moves!: Interview with Arielle Loren

Great interview and wise words.

nicole-clark:

Hey y’all,

This week kicks off a new segment called “Women Making Moves!” Each week, I interview a woman or girl of color who is (or is aspiring in) making a name for herself in the areas of sexual/reproductive health, overall health and wellness, feminism, activism, entrepreneurship, the arts and sciences, and in all-around pro-woman goodness. The goals of “Women Making Moves!” are to 1) add to the growing images and stories of women and girls of color that defy societal stereotypes, 2) expose you all to potential career paths and opportunities, and 3) give our featured person more exposure so you can support them and their work.

Kicking off the segment is writer and filmmaker Arielle Loren. I was introduced to Arielle and her amazing work via Twitter (you can follow her here ) . While a student at New York University, Arielle wrote her senior thesis on African American women’s experience with dating men who identify as bisexual, and her documentary Bideology was born, and it will be premiering at film festivals in Spring 2012. Arielle is also a regular writer for such sites as Clutch Magazine and Frugivore Magazine. Presently, Arielle is gearing up to travel the world for the next year! Not only is Arielle great at what she does, but she’s also a wonderful person. Read more about Arielle and her work, and support!

Read More

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A Reminder & Call to Action Re: the Sexual Health Needs of Middle-Aged & Older Adults

Via HuffingtonPost: Sexygenerians: Why the Taboo Against Candor, Safety With Senior Sex?

Important reflection on the need for more safer sex outreach with middle-aged and older adults. Their STI (esp. HIV) rates are climbing and public health professionals and citizens of the world alike need to move past their squeamishness and denial of senior sexuality to do what we can to help curb them. Cites a study done by one of my mentors and ego-ideal, Dr. Stacy Tessler Lindau. (It was in her research lab that overcame my own uneasiness about sexuality in older ages)

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A Modern Sexual-Assault Tale

  • Man: Hello, I'd like to report a mugging.
  • Officer: A mugging, eh? Where did it take place?
  • Man: I was walking by 21st and Dundritch Street and a man pulled out a gun and said, "Give me all your money."
  • Officer: And did you?
  • Man: Yes, I co-operated.
  • Officer: So you willingly gave the man your money without fighting back, calling for help or trying to escape?
  • Man: Well, yes, but I was terrified. I thought he was going to kill me!
  • Officer: Mmm. But you did co-operate with him. And I've been informed that you're quite a philanthropist, too.
  • Man: I give to charity, yes.
  • Officer: So you like to give money away. You make a habit of giving money away.
  • Man: What does that have to do with this situation?
  • Officer: You knowingly walked down Dundritch Street in your suit when everyone knows you like to give away money, and then you didn't fight back. It sounds like you gave money to someone, but now you're having after-donation regret. Tell me, do you really want to ruin his life because of your mistake?
  • Man: This is ridiculous!
  • Officer: This is a rape analogy. This is what women face every single day when they try to bring their rapists to justice.
  • Man: Damn the patriarchy.
  • Officer: Word.

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Optimism is a political act. Those who benefit from the status quo are perfectly happy for us to think nothing is going to get any better. In fact, these days, cynicism is obedience. What’s really radical is being willing to look right at the problems we face and still insist that we can solve them. A stubborn commitment to solving problems and a faith in our ability to do so doesn’t need to be naïve.

Alex Steffen, worldchanging.com

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From the Guttmacher Institute. <33 them so much.

Let the conversation be guided by evidence, facts, and consideration for all of people’s lived experiences, not off-the-cuff conjecture, ignorance, and politicking. 

#theseAREintendedtobefactualstatements

(Also, just to note: not only women have abortions. Trans men, genderqueer, and intersex folks can have abortions too. ANYONE and EVERYONE should be able to access abortion safely and with dignity.)

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Because it's wrong.: How to Fuck Up

Good reminder. Someone in the notes mentioned not so much caring about 1-3, which is totally valid. But I also think the acknowledgment part is just as important personally as it is to the person wronged. I feel like sometimes when people err and someone calls them on it, the apology is like a reflex, to just return to homeostasis, not because they truly understand the weight of their actions. It’s important to take that time to understand and acknowledge for yourself, why and what went wrong. Take it from someone who makes a LOT of mistakes (but also tries their best to learn from them).

technicolortimecoat:

“How to Fuck Up” — and how to clean up when you fuck up.

I have a little tool that I call “The Four A’s” (I learned it from an absolutely fantastic teacher) and it has helped me through numerous fuck-ups in my life.

When you “Fuck Up” (whether the fuck-up is minor or major) practice the “Four A’s”.

  1. Acknowledgment
  2. Apology
  3. Amends
  4. Action

#1. Acknowledgment — is really important, IMO, because if you don’t realize what you actually did, and how it was “fucked up”, there’s a high probability that you are going to do it again — a very high probability.

#2. Apology — is also really important — but it has to be genuine (which requires #1 - Acknowledgment). Saying things like “I’m sorry if you felt bad about what I said/wrote” or “I’m sorry if your feelings got hurt”, is, IMO, completely different from saying “I’m sorry that I said/wrote that. I see how it was fucked up, and here’s how I know that it was fucked up … . . “. (Keep in mind that “if” is a word reserved for hypotheticals, and doesn’t usually refer to real life. When used in apology, “if” is usually just a dilutive, and if you can’t really apologize, then don’t apologize at all. Sort of a perverse Thumper ethic.)

#3. Amends — sometimes the energy required to actually think about how you fucked up and make an honest acknowledgment/apology is enough to return balance to the situation (depends on the type of fuck up, though). In some cases, “making amends” might also mean returning money/energy/time that your fuck-up created for someone else. This can be returned in any of a number of creative ways. Example: If you got all defensive in an argument, and therefore the argument took eight hours instead of 30 minutes (hey, I’m a lesbian — I can DO me some processing!), consider just giving the person with whom you got all defensive eight hours of your time to do for them something that they might have gotten done if you hadn’t been all uppity-up in yourself being a defensive shit (not that I’ve ever done that … .no, that has never happened with me… . . OK, maybe just that once … OK — Fuck it! I’m completely busted here … .)

#4. Action — This may be the most important of the 4 A’s. If you know that you did something that was fucked up, and you’ve expressed that you’re genuinely sorry that you did this fucked up thing, then really, the only concrete evidence of this will be that you will change what you do in the future. For me, if I don’t take this step (action), the other three are just so much manipulation.

(via Teh Portly Dyke)

I know this is old, but always relevant. ALWAYS.

(via crunkfeministcollective)

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